To Laugh Or To Cry, That Is The Question

Now that my computer is back, I can return to all manner of er, um research.  Today I stumbled across this on CNN.com and honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  It might be one of THE most bizarre things I've ever read or seen (as is evidenced in the video).  And if it wasn't on CNN, I would have assumed it was just some CG created film.  But I really don't think so.

This is a story from Indonesia about a smoking toddler.  You read that right.  This is a story about a toddler who smokes around 40 cigarettes per day.

No, I'm not kidding.  See for yourself.

I couldn't embed the CNN video, but be sure to watch the video on that link too.  The exasperated mother, through a translator, says she just doesn't know how she's going to help him quit.

I'm no child rearing expert but I've got a little suggestion.  Considering the average 2-year-old is about 34 inches tall, putting his cigs on the top shelf should solve the problem.  While it might piss him off, I'm just guessing he'll be down to the few he finds on the floor in no time. 

Ban This

Fox and ABC found this commercial too racy and deemed it inappropriate to air. It is now banned: 

They pulled the commercial from its spot during Dancing With The Stars which I find ironic given some of the costumes that appear on that show.  And don't even get me started on the inappropriate story lines that they air on some of the shows.  But I also believe if you don't like what you see on a particular channel, your tv has an off button.  Use it.

What I'd really like them to explain is how the Lane Bryant commerical differs significantly from this one:

Oh right, the size 16 woman in the Lane Bryant ad has curves like the majority of us.  So it makes you wonder what all the fuss is about?  

It's not like I need any more reason to dislike the asshats over at Fox (okay, it's mainly Fox News that makes me grit my teeth).  And ABC, now you're on my list too. Get real people.

In fact, I'm sending them message.  Fox and ABC, listen up.  Until you change your ways, YOU are banned in my house because you simply don't get it.  I know they don't give a shit but it sure makes me feel better. 

Thanks For Clearing That Up

On my last few trips, I've noticed that the signage posted for the general public suggests we need more than a little guidance in dealing with our personal affairs.  That or we've become much more stupid than I ever imagined.

My money's on stupid.

So it was no real surprise to find this sign over every sink at Disney World:

And I, for one, am thankful they posted this helpful placard.  Because I always find executing the handwashing sequence is as complex as, oh, I don't know, launching the space shuttle.  

Maybe next time they'll hang a sign over the toliet that says Wipe Last.

Don't be surprised.

Getting in Line

Yes, I've been offline for the week.  But rest assured I have been IN line.  Because I have been to Disney World. 

Apparently, the entire nation was on spring break this week.  And everyone took a secret vote to meet in Orlando. 

The funny thing was, even with the throngs of humanity descending on the parks, everyone I encountered was pleasant and friendly despite the wait to do just about EVERYTHING. (the only adult snapping I witnessed was of the parental kind and directed at whining children to the tune of - "Do you know how much it cost to bring you here? Now get in line, quit your crying or I will GIVE you something to cry about.")  You waited in line to get your bag searched to enter the park.  You waited in line to enter the park.  You waited in line to ride even the minor attractions.  You waited in line to order food.  You waited in line to pee.  You waited in line to catch the bus back to the hotel at the end of the day. And everyone seemed happy about it.

I am impatient.  I hate to wait.  But for some reason this week, I didn't care.  I was on Disney's Happy Hookah.

But to me, that is part of the sheer brilliance of Disney marketing - an oversized mouse lures you to a place where you are a captive audience in the name of providing zippity do dah family fun to your children (which they do), you whip out your wallet to pay $7 for a hot dog and $3 for a Coke (and you do), and make you rationalize waiting in line for a 120 minutes for a 3 minute ride.  And you enjoy every minute of it. 

I still think there's something in the water. But I'll keep drinking it anyway.